Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Prover
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
-H. L. Mencken
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs... .."
--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u
let him in!
--Anonymous
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! "
----------------------------------------------\ WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ!
(Passing requires only 3 correct answers out of 10!)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last ?
2) Which country makes Panama hats ?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut ?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution ?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of ?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal ?
7) What was King George VI's first name ?
8) What color is a purple finch ?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from ?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ?
Remember, you need only 3 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.
ANSWERS
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last ? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats ? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut ? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution ? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of ? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal ? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name ? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from ? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane ? Orange (of course!)
What do you mean, you failed?!!
Me, too...!!!
( And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie! )
Pass this on to some "brilliant" friends, so that they may feel useless too!
------------------
This is truly brilliant... It can't get more accurate than this!!!!
Sigmund Freud's Priorities
Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which sequence would you solve them?
1. The telephone is ringing!
2. The baby is crying!
3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!
4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!
5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!
In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence and check below how your decisions were made.
BUT BE HONEST, THE FINDINGS ARE EXCITING.
First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after!
Answer:
Every individual point represents something in your life..
On the list you can see which meaning every point has:
1. Telephone represents Work
2. Baby represents Family
3. Door represents Friends
4. Clothes represent Money
5. Tap represents Love Life
Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.
---------------------------------
The Seed
A successful business man was growing old and Knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, He decided to do something different. He called all the young Executives in his company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one Of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant The seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with What you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then Judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be The next CEO."
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, Received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the Story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted The seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had Grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began To talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he Had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but He had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the Seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company Brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick To his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment Of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot To the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety
Of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- In all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and Many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
Executives.
Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, And flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will Be appointed the next CEO!"
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with His empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to The front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a Failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened To his seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, And then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!
His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow His seed.
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this Room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, And bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; They were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and Flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you Substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the
Only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with My seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"
If you plant honesty, you will reap trust
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective
If you plant hard work, you will reap success
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation
If you plant faith in God , you will reap a harvest
So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later ..
"Whatever You Give To Life, Life Gives You Back"
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